09
Feb 10

Human enslavement alert!

As a card-carrying technology fan, I am duty-bound to be fascinated by robots. However, I do find myself getting a little jaded by the frenetic pace of robotic invention. In the last year alone, I’ve seen robots walk, jog, fly, roll, even perform as teachers and fashion models. Hell, they just had a Heineken Bot serving beer at a recent fair in London. But even in this state of C3POverload, I had to raise an eyebrow last week.

In two separate leaps, our robot friends became both scarier and sluttier. This probably brings us that much closer to the first Cylon uprising, but I see no reason to dwell on the negative. In fact, while we still have our freedom, there’s much to admire.

BigDog: just don't let him sleep on your bed

Starting with the creepy, there is BigDog. This is a four-legged robot developed for the military by Boston Dynamic. BigDog can travel over any surface, even jump like a horse (should work well in military parades). In principle, however, BigDog is really just Mule 2.0. Its mission is to carry 400 pounds of gear for our troops. As a pleasant side-effect, it will also scare the living daylights out of any enemy who might be watching. Think mutant horse buzzing like a giant mosquito. If you can deal with the bad dreams, don’t miss BigDog’s video. (Friendly tip: wash it down immediately with the BigDog parody.)

Roxxxy: in certain ways, creepier than BigDo

The other breakthrough was unveiled at that hotbed of scientific invention, Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas. This robot’s name is Roxxxy, and she’s designed to… well, let’s just say she’s an easy conquest. Billed as the world’s most sophisticated talking sex robot, Roxxxy is 5’7″, 120 pounds, equipped with voice recognition, conversational ability and five different personalities (just like many of our real-life mates). A male version, Rocky, is in the works.

At $7,000, Roxxxy is far more affordable than BigDog, but you really shouldn’t make this decision based on money. I get the feeling that in the end, Roxxxy is the kind who might just break your heart.

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  • Taxi

    Well I guess this answers the question, “What did Jason Alexander do next”? :-)

  • Jimi

    Honestly, I feel sorry for the robot that has to f#%@ that guy….

  • Jimi
  • first saw Big Dog about 2 years ago, romping through tests in the woods and i was impressed, the thing kept its balance under load while a field tester tried to push it over and it just stayed upright… thought it was fascinating … medical emergency and life threatening scenarios might be better handled now if the people attempting to give aid have a few of these to help?

    the robot girl? that was brought home when they interviewed someone that purchased one saying how excited he was at the technology and how he was looking forward to the “new relationship as he had never had a relationship with an organic female” before …

    interesting examples of the opposing ends of of the technology thread …

  • Jimi

    Actually, Roxxxy looks more life like that you would think when you get her out in public:

    http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff186/PrawnCufflinks15/catherine%20tate/CatherineTate10.jpg