Under no circumstances take this as a criticism. This is a big, empathetic hug from a kindred spirit who knows the pain. Writing ain’t easy.
Imagine you’re the hungry writer at Apple who gets the job of introducing the new line of MacBook Pros. This is your moment. No more writing Snow Leopoard pages buried six links deep. You’re the guy who is going to introduce the laptops every pro has been lusting for. You couldn’t even sleep last night, being all giddy about today’s briefing. And now the meeting’s about to begin…
The Keynote presentation is Apple-flawless. The product manager takes you through all of MacBook Pro’s new features, one by one. The presentation is dramatically building to the “key message” — the magic thought that is to pervade all marketing materials for the updated product line. It’s not just any thought. It’s been blessed by Steve himself. It will be your guiding light as you write your little heart out.
You lean forward in your chair as the last feature slide begins an impressive origami transition, and finally the key message reveals itself: It’s the fastest MacBook Pro ever.
Everyone else in the room seems to be eagerly taking notes. But you’re the one who has to write the damn web pages. So you get up your nerve to look this gift horse in the mouth and ask,”Excuse me, but is that it? It’s faster?”
“Exactly,” says the product manager.
You suddenly feel some other person inside your own body, someone who’s a lot feistier than you, and that person grabs your microphone.
“Wait a second,” you hear yourself say, “isn’t that the same message we used when we introduced the previous new MacBook family? And the one before that? And the last five generations of iMac? And every generation of Mac Pro???”
“Sure is,” says the product manager, with a forced smile, “but you’re the writer — have some fun with it.”
The fact is, there’s nothing tougher than having to go to the well, time after time after time, to come up with a new way to say the same old thing. And in the technology world, just about every product refresh is the same old thing. More, better, faster. This time around, we get The fastest, most powerful MacBook Pro ever. Times three. Uh huh. Like there’s any surprise that the new MacBook Pros are faster than the old MacBook Pros. Or some precarious thrill to the fact that three MacBook Pros are being replaced by the same three MacBook Pros.
They should make one of those Budweiser radio commercials about a new “American Hero” — the writer who must somehow turn a completely unsurprising product positioning into a headline that will stop you in your tracks. It takes guts, stamina, and the ability to trash your own work repeatedly until you come up with something you might actually be proud of.
I’ve thought long and hard about getting a new MacBook Pro this year, but I think I’m going to pass. I’m crossing my fingers that next year’s models will be even faster.
Tags: apple, apple macbook pro, ken segall, macbook pro
