technology


26
May 11

Ballmer: making the wrong kind of mistakes

Yes, you

I have a new theory about Steve Ballmer.

Maybe earlier in his life, or in a previous life, he did such wonderful things, he earned himself a guardian angel.

Really, how else does one explain how a man can remain employed through one planet-sized bungle to the next?

Many companies make mistakes in the pursuit of greatness. Apple makes some doozies.

But Microsoft, under Ballmer, consistently makes the kind of mistakes that can easily turn the company into the type of case study you don’t want to be: the “rise and fall” type.

I don’t pretend to understand the dynamics inside Microsoft. However, this is business. Very big business. No amount of loyalty, favoritism, appreciation or whatever can possibly rationalize the company’s poor showing since Ballmer assumed office.

How Microsoft, formerly the most valuable and profitable technology company on earth (“formerly,” thanks to Ballmer), with virtually limitless resources, could fall into its current state is almost impossible to comprehend.

After failing miserably with Vista, Ballmer has completely missed the two biggest technology revolutions in recent times: smartphones and tablets. And let’s not even talk about the $8.5 billion he just sunk into Skype.

The smartphone failure alone should have earned him his gold watch. It took Microsoft three years to come up with a viable alternative to iPhone. Even then, “viable” is probably being generous. Now, after Android, Microsoft must fight to be a distant third.

His public statements have become laughable, from predicting that iPhone can’t possibly succeed to passionately defending the PC as other technologies make it less relevant.

This week, Ballmer’s theater of the absurd redefined absurdity. First he blurted out that their newest OS, to be called Windows 8, will be released in 2012. Shortly thereafter, a Microsoft “spokesperson” issued a clarification: “It appears there was a misstatement.” Turns out, there is no timetable yet for the new OS, and there is no confirmation of its name.

Honestly, can you imagine this kind of screwup taking place at any other company?

It’s not like there isn’t a growing chorus of calls for Ballmer’s retirement. The latest came yesterday from the president of Greenlight Capital, David Einhorn. He describes the Microsoft CEO as being “stuck in the past.”

The good news for Microsoft is that Ballmer doesn’t have to be stuck in its present. It’s not all that hard to send a CEO packing.

Though I have no current fondness for Microsoft, I’ve often wondered how things might change if they actually had a visionary CEO. I imagine Microsoft’s stockholders have been wondering the same thing.


24
May 11

Riding the wave vs. following the wave

You can tell a lot about a company’s spirit by the way it handles innovation.

Some live to lead the way, others prefer the safety of “wait and see.”

When I was reading about how HP passed over Thunderbolt in its new PCs, it stirred an ancient memory on this topic.

I was working on behalf of Apple when iMovie came out. Apple, of course, invested heavily in iMovie, plastering its message all over TV. You’ll have to remember, the ability to make cool videos on your computer was brand-new then. There was no YouTube. Apple wanted to get people thinking about something they hadn’t been thinking about before.

About a year later, I was working in the world of Intel (before they hooked up with Apple). By this time, there were plenty of apps for making videos on a PC. Intel, interested in creating a new campaign for consumers, decided they should first ask consumers what they like to do on their computers. So they ran focus groups all around the country. They found that most people were browsing the Internet and doing email (duh), and that sharing photos was the third biggest thing. Way down near the bottom of the list was making videos.

Email and browsing were a little too boring even for Intel, so they chose to highlight photos in their ads. In other words, they chose to sell people on what they were already doing vs. opening their eyes to something new.

I thought this was pretty sad, considering their technology enabled all kinds of cool things. They could have ridden the wave, but instead they followed it.

So the other day I was reading this PC World interview with HP’s worldwide marketing manager for desktops, Xavier Lauwaert.

Asked why HP chose not to include the new high-speed Thunderbolt technology in its latest line of desktop PCs, Lauwaert said, “Haven’t found a value proposition in it yet.”

He went on to explain, “On the PC side, everybody seems to be content with the expansion of USB 3.0. Do we need to go into more fancy solutions? Not convinced yet.”

Now I do understand that the verdict is not yet in on Thunderbolt. It’s more HP’s language that I find disturbing. (Assuming that Lauwaert is authorized to speak for the company. If not, he should be slapped.)

For a company built on innovation to hold back on new technology because they think customers are “content” is kind of lame. To ask “Do we need to go into more fancy solutions?” makes it sound like innovating is too much of a bother for HP.

Listening to these words leads one to believe it’s a case of either-or. It isn’t. Apple added Thunderbolt to iMac in addition to its other ports. It sounds more like rationale than putting the customer first.

If HP was built on invention, and it wishes to stand for invention, it really should act a bit more like it cares about invention. Not just in products, but in the words they choose.


5
May 11

Intel’s “Chase” strikes again

Intel’s on-again, off-again flirtation with creativity has taken a turn for the better, thanks to the efforts of agency Venables & Partners.

Remember the neat film they made a few months back — The Chase — to introduce the latest Core i5 chip? What made it such a hit (over 2 million views) was that, instead of being confined to film, they used the visual language of computers to draw us into the action. In this “bad guys chase Bond-like woman” story, the characters run, jump and fight through FaceBook, YouTube, iTunes, chat windows, video games, Google Maps and more — and it all actually makes sense.

But it was a film. That is, all of this action took place inside the single frame you were watching on YouTube.

Now The Chase is back, and it’s literally broken out of its box. When you visit the Intel page on Facebook, you can see the movie, or you can “launch the HTML5 experience,” which performs its intricate choreography all over your own display.

Is it great? Well, they definitely get an A for effort. The HTML5 experience is truly fun to watch. It’s the launching part that gets a bit dicey.

Before you can watch, you have to download and cache what appears to be the Library of Congress, but is in fact all the video clips needed to run the experience.

Maybe you’ll have better luck with your setup. To be fair, I must have tried this a good 15 times, using Safari, Firefox and Chrome. Only twice did I make it in less than a minute (Chrome was fastest), the other times varied from pretty-darn-long to way-way-long (well over three minutes). Several times Firefox literally gave up the fight without even telling me why.

Once you get it going, it really is cool. One cosmetic difference between the movie and the HTML5 version is that HTML5 apparently requires the windows to be visibly loaded — so you get about eight tiny windows stacked at the bottom left of your display, hoping that you don’t notice.

Then there’s the game, in which you’re challenged to find nine bits from the movie hidden in various places on the Internet. Unfortunately, I couldn’t play because the Play button set off the Ken Segall Personal Defense System. Upon clicking, the app asked permission to do a Facebook body search, extracting my name, profile picture, user ID and list of friends. Not sure what would have happened, but it sure sounds like my friends would get spammed with a note telling them how much I loved this. I panicked and backed out.

So, yes, there are some negatives, but the creative work itself remains fun to watch. And the page does a nice job of creating some positive buzz for Intel.

It’s just unfortunate that the mechanics of the HTML5 production give you the feeling that this kind of stuff will work a lot better one day in the future. Maybe when we’re all using i5 chips?

Some credits for this effort. Agency: Venables & Partners; Writer: Josh Parshauer; Art Director: Beau Hanson; Associate Creative Directors: Paul Foulkes and Tyler Hampton. Interactive Creative Director: David Kim; Production Company: Nexus Interactive Arts (live action directors: Smith & Foulkes).


28
Apr 11

iPhone’s perfect storm

How I spent my winter vacation, courtesy of iPhone

If the iPhone location-tracking mess has you alternately muttering, “How dare they,” “Who the hell cares,” and “You tell ’em, Apple,” there’s good reason.

This particular blip in iPhone history is being fueled by three different forces.

For starters, there’s the growing national/global paranoia about our personal information falling into the wrong hands.

Then we have the never-ending obsession with Apple — with anti-Apple forces eager to pounce on any perceived chink in the armor and admirers eager to leap to the company’s defense.

Last, we have Apple tossing out its own statement yesterday — too late for some people’s tastes — and with enough fodder to give both sides some good ammunition.

Personally, I find it odd that people would get bent out of shape that their approximate location history has been stored somewhere in iTunes. (A) I could care less who knows where I’ve been, and (B) I thought we Mac users were so smug about our computers being safe and secure.

If someone did break into my computer, the iPhone location file is the last thing I’d care about them finding. My computer contains everything: my contacts, credit cards, bank accounts and information about the secret second family I have in Wisconsin. (Damn, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.)

The story gets bigger mostly because it involves Apple. In the last few weeks, there have been two far more serious threats to our confidential information, neither of which seems to have gotten as much press as LocationGate.

Just days ago, the Playstation Network was hacked. About 77 million had their email address and possibly credit card number stolen.

A short time ago, the marketing company Epsilon was hacked in the largest name and email heist in history. You’ve probably received a number of warnings from big companies who relied on Epsilon, advising that your email address has been compromised as a result. They’re very sorry for the inconvenience.

So excuse me if I don’t get upset that a hacker who hasn’t yet broken into my computer might one day sneak in and find out that I drove down to Florida a couple of months ago.

But now Apple blasts into the news with an official explanation. They say they’ve been silent because, basically, they’ve been working on it. They should know that the most frustrating part of air travel is when the pilot leaves us in the dark. A simple “we’re experiencing a delay, and I’ll get back to you when I have more information” would have sufficed.

Reportedly, Steve Jobs, Phil Schiller and Scott Forstall worked on the response together because they wanted to get it right. Unfortunately, parts of their explanation sound more like spin than they should. For example:

The iPhone is not logging your location. Rather, it’s maintaining a database of Wi-Fi hotspots and cell towers around your current location…

Kind of the same thing, isn’t it? I look at my own iPhone location map, and I’m sorry — those are in fact the locations I visited.

They say that saving a year’s worth of data is a “bug,” because it should only save a week’s worth. It’s also a bug that data collection continues even when you turn off location services. To common folk, bugs are things that make software crash or perform improperly. In both of these cases, the software is doing exactly what Apple told it to do. They seem to be more errors in judgment than bugs. Especially when we know that this information is collected on purpose.

In the end, I don’t think it’s a big deal. Apple could have been more straightforward, but I take them at their word that the collected data is anonymous and used only to improve future services.

In fact, this could be a huge moneymaking opportunity if you have the hacking skills. Imagine: Location Maps of the Stars. How fun it would be to see the 12-month location maps of the rich and famous — starting with Jobs, Schiller and Forstall.


26
Apr 11

Michael Dell’s judicious use of words

Hell, who saw that one coming?

From yesterday’s WSJ’s interview with Michael Dell.

WSJ: What has surprised you most about the evolution of the tech industry [since your return as CEO of Dell four years ago]:

Michael Dell: I’d say [the] rapid rise of the tablet. I didn’t completely see that coming.

I’d truly love to know exactly what parts he didn’t see coming. Maybe it was the hardware and software parts?

Then again, Michael doesn’t always express himself too well. He said “didn’t completely” when he really meant “completely didn’t.”


18
Apr 11

Plight of the PlayBook speechwriter

Some jobs in this world are too daunting for us regular folk to ponder: astronaut … fireman … flagpole sitter … PlayBook speechwriter…

I mean it takes some fancy writing to get around the challenges of a tablet flung into head-on competition with iPad when it’s not yet fully cooked. I can only imagine the call RIM co-CEO Jim Balsillie made to his speechwriter before his recent Bloomberg interview.

BALSILLIE: Listen, Tex, I need your help. We gave some PlayBooks out to reporters, and the reviews are coming back pretty bad.

TEX: Geez, Jim. Why’d you go and do something like that? I thought that thing wasn’t going to be ready for another six months.

BALSILLIE: Water under the bridge. I need some good quotes fast. I’m on Bloomberg in an hour.

TEX: Okay, but I get my hazardous duty rate for this.

BALSILLIE: Yeah, whatever. Listen, you can bet your booties that the Bloomberg lady is going to go right for the jugular. She’s going to ask why PlayBook doesn’t have a built-in email client.

TEX: You’re kidding me. It doesn’t? How can you ship a tablet without built-in email?

BALSILLIE: It’s not so bad. You just have to connect it to a BlackBerry and do your email through that.

TEX (covering the receiver to hide his chuckling): If I have my BlackBerry with me, why wouldn’t I just use that to do my email?

BALSILLIE: You’re missing the point. PlayBook is a tablet. People love tablets. They’re buying millions of iPads.

TEX: Well, yeah, but iPad has built-in email.

BALSILLIE: Okay, I’ve got an idea. What if I say, “You can pair it with your BlackBerry for free.” People love free things, right? It’s cool that PlayBook doesn’t have built-in email because you can get it for free by plugging it into your BlackBerry.

TEX: But it’s already free on iPad.

BALSILLIE: Exactly. We’ll both have it for free!

TEX: (eye roll)

BALSILLIE: Good, so we’ll do that. Now about this app thing. Little problem there.

TEX: Like?

BALSILLIE: Like we have 3,000 apps and iPad has over 60,000.

TEX: How about “they’re really, really great apps”?

BALSILLIE: I was thinking of another approach. How about “We’ve got 100,000 apps”?

TEX: You just said you only had 3,000 apps.

BALSILLIE: We do. But we’re going to get more.

TEX: You’re confusing me.

BALSILLIE: We’re figuring out a way to run Android apps on this puppy. Probably in the summer.

TEX: Still, you’d be talking about something you don’t have now. And who knows how well this “Android emulation” thing will really work.

BALSILLIE: Your point?

TEX: Look, I think your best way out of this mess is to just do what Steve Jobs does. Use a lot of superlatives. Keep repeating them.

BALSILLIE: I don’t get it.

TEX: Think style, not substance. I’ve jotted down half a dozen quips here already. Memorize these: “It’s super-super fast.” “It’s ultraportable.” “It’s an amazing platform.” “We’re in an exceptional position.” “I feel incredibly bullish.”

BALSILLIE: Wow. You’re good.

TEX: You can do this, Jim. Remember, they have email, we have email. They have apps, we have apps. They have 3G, we have—

BALSILLIE: Uh, we don’t have 3G yet. Coming soon.

TEX: What? How can you possibly sell a tablet to business people without 3G?

BALSILLIE: Uh … can we just find a superlative for that?


11
Mar 11

Motorola Xoom goes all Droidy

What exactly does the Motorola Xoom want to be when it grows up?

After briefly echoing Apple’s 1984 roots on the Super Bowl (an ad from Motorola), Xoom is now channeling the spirit of Droid in the ad you see here (an ad from Verizon.)

Gone are all traces of “liberation.” In its place we get everything that had previously been squeezed into Droid’s advertising: a series of macho sci-fi images accompanied by a male voice spouting tech specs.

It’s not hard to imagine the rationale: hey, if it worked once, why not just do it again?

Droid had to do battle with iPhone, which had singlehandedly revolutionized the smartphone category, and had a full year’s head start. Carving out its own personality in the face of Apple’s blatant humanity, Droid very consciously chose the cold, adrenaline-laced, futuristic path.

Now Xoom faces a parallel, but even more daunting task. It’s up against an iPad that’s revolutionized (and run away with) the market, has a full year’s head start, and connects emotionally better than any product in Apple’s history.

So Verizon’s tactic is obvious: let’s just go with what worked before. They’ve got Xoom walking in Droid’s footsteps, hoping to achieve the same result.

Its new ad is the love-child of the original Droid script and a copy machine.

But of course we always need to take advertising with a grain of salt. Ads alone do not determine a product’s success. In fact, one could argue that Droid has been successful despite its advertising. Rarely has a device used equally by men and women done so much to ignore one gender completely.

I know women who love their Droid, but not a single one who cared a whit about the ads. They read reviews, received a recommendation from a friend or discovered the phone in the store.

On the Super Bowl, Motorola dabbled with a Xoom storyline that might actually appeal to women. Now Verizon wants to sell some Xooms, so it’s time to get down to some serious testosterone (processor speed! gyroscope! memory!). It’s pure Droid, right down to its roboticized eyeball.

This is definitely not the kind of ad that will get Grandma thinking of Xoom as a way to get closer to the new granddaughter. But, on the bright side, it just might convince her to grab an electrified spike gun and take down an army of Necromorphs.


15
Feb 11

HP takes a walk on the lame side

As it often does, Sunday night’s Grammys brought us both pain and joy. For joy, we got the snubbing of Justin Bieber in favor of Esperanza Spalding. For pain, HP was kind enough to step in with a new commercial for its forthcoming webOS products.

Let us pause to give HP credit for its sense of drama. If an ad is to horrify listeners with its soundtrack, what better place to fail than on the most important musical event of the year?

HP’s offense was to take the classic, generation-defining Lou Reed song, Walk on the Wild Side, and turn it into a vacuous ode to Tweeting, friending, texting and pretty much every expected thing we already do on our current devices of choice.

To think that the Grammys audience will love you simply because you’ve bought the rights to a famous track makes as much sense as believing a Texas audience will love you because you write a headline that starts with, “Howdy, y’all.” This is an attempted “easy win” that doesn’t come close to winning.

And by the way, Lou Reed — you’re not off the hook for this either.

Once the song was purchased and the original raw lyrics replaced by an exercise in copywriting, all they needed was a singer to bring it to life. Someone failed to realize that even a good vocalist becomes a joke when you force him to desecrate a musical legend.

But rejoice, HP fans. Creative judgment aside, HP’s products themselves actually appear to have some potential. Mute the sound and the future becomes much brighter.

In fact, by muting you will also spare yourself the pseudo-trendy “Everybody on” theme line, as well as the alternate reality that is celebrated in the commercial’s concluding thought: For more businesses and more people, only HP is leading the way.

Oh, that’s right. The HP Touchpad that won’t be out for another six months is leading the way, even though a nameless other tablet virtually invented the category over a year ago. Gotcha.

HP didn’t exactly end up with a spot that scores high marks for music. But it performs surprisingly well in the category of musical comedy.


3
Feb 11

The last Mac myth

Back in the good old days, the die-hard Apple fans — embarrassingly outnumbered — would often attempt to debunk the many myths surrounding the platform.

They targeted such notions as “Macs aren’t as fast as PCs,” “Mac files aren’t compatible” and “Macs offer less software.”

Like most of the world, I’ve stopped worrying about such things. The arguments just aren’t relevant anymore. Even the software issue, which still exists by absolute numbers, isn’t worth discussing. Whatever the number of Mac apps may be, a Mac owner has a huge amount of titles to choose from. If you lust that badly after a particular Windows app, you can simply configure your Mac to run it.

But, nosing around on the Apple sites and discussion groups recently (this is what I do for a good time), I was surprised to see one myth still alive and well. It’s the idea that Macs are not more secure than PCs — there are simply so few Macs on earth, they’re not a juicy enough target for the evildoers. This is the famous theory of “security by obscurity.”

This is also pure crap.

Macs were once not only a tiny minority of the world’s computers, they were a fading minority. The platform didn’t generate nearly the buzz it does today. Nor was its every move reported by legions of journalists and bloggers.

If I were a hacker 15 years ago, I’d buy the obscurity argument in a nanosecond. What’s the fun of being a big fish in an invisible puddle.

However, this isn’t then. Apple is now the world’s most successful — and most valuable — technology company. Macs get far more attention than their numbers suggest. They’re all over movies and TV shows. They’re the defacto standard in graphics and design. Although the Mac market share remains far smaller than that of PCs, Mac users number in the tens of millions. And then there’s mobile technology, where Apple either leads in market share or owns a giant chunk of the category. Regardless of market share, Apple leads by far in share of mind. The world’s obsession with Apple only grows bigger every day.

Add to that the fact that Apple has spent tens of millions of dollars proclaiming to the world that Macs don’t get viruses. That was the claim in one of the earliest “Mac vs. PC” commercials (the one where PC couldn’t stop sneezing). It was an open challenge to the world’s hackers. It was Apple’s public “bring it on.”

If you were a hacker seeking glory these days, the Mac has to be one super-tempting target. Being the first person on earth to cause havoc in the Mac world would mean instant enshrinement in the Hackers Hall of Fame. It’s just horribly naive to suggest that hackers have no motivation to attack the Mac. In fact, why would you create malware for PCs, where viruses are a dime a dozen, when you can have the fame and glory that would come with bringing those arrogant Mac users to their knees? Hell, I’m tempted to go try it myself.

Hacker conventions have been held with the express goal of breaking into the Mac. They usually end with a “concept virus,” or the announcement of some newly discovered vulnerability in Mac OS X. Yet somehow none of that ever causes a blip in the Mac world.

Given the total lack of widespread Mac viruses over all these years vs. the hundreds of thousands that exist in PCs, it takes some kind of twisted logic to maintain that Mac OS X is as vulnerable as Windows.

Interestingly, there’s a newer, more absurd myth being born to take the place of security by obscurity. It’s the idea that Macs are actually more vulnerable than PCs. This belief is put out there by security companies out to sell their own software, or security experts eager to prove their unconventional smarts. They have all the reports to prove Mac’s many documented vulnerabilities. The only thing missing are the viruses.

This is not to say Macs are invincible. Clearly any computer can be compromised. Everyone needs to exercise some common sense. But the simple fact is, it’s pure insanity to run a PC without antivirus software and commonplace to run a Mac without it. I haven’t run antivirus software in my Macs since Mac OS X was released, over 10 years ago. I don’t know anyone who has.

The “Mac is vulnerable” crowd does exist and will always exist. They’ll continue to make their claims until one day they can say they were right.

I will only note that there is also a Flat Earth Society waiting patiently to be proven right. We’ll see who gets there first.


1
Feb 11

Motorola saves us from the evil Apple

Some ads fail the old-fashioned way. They lack the traditional ingredients of creative thinking and/or smart strategy.

Other ads lose all restraint and fail on a higher level. They not only lack the right ingredients, they wrap their message in a grand idealistic vision, and pretend it is their driving motivation.

Congratulations,  Motorola, for taking it to Level 2.

After the ominous music and titles describing a totalitarian state, we’re told that because Motorola’s tablet is here, “it’s time to live a free life.” Holy cow, that’s thick.

Of course it’s not hard to understand why Motorola would go this route. Like everyone else jumping on the tablet bandwagon, they officially fall in the “follower” category. They face a most formidable competitor who has more than a full year head start. Plus, they aren’t exactly unique. They belong to a fleet of Android tablets coming to save us from the mass delusion that has led us to false happiness.

Motorola (and some of the others) actually does have certain advantages over iPad, at least in the hardware department. There are a thousand creative ways they could have made that point if they had a little imagination. Instead they chose to reveal these advantages by putting themselves on a pedestal, proclaiming themselves to be the hero, appointing themselves the defender of freedom.

This is offensive in the sense that it is manipulative. It tries to get us nodding our heads — and handing over our cash — by hijacking one of our most treasured values. Basically, Motorola is saying that if you love liberty, you should buy their product.

It’s not only offensive, it’s a rip-off of others’ offensive strategies. You’ll recall that after Apple banned Flash, Adobe proclaimed itself the champion of freedom. And last year Google depicted Apple as the evil anti-choice entity at their I/O Conference.

I don’t imagine a lot of people will be gathering in town square to rally for the heroic Motorola.

Never mind that their logic is absurd. They dismiss the fact that throughout history, Apple has been the one company who gave us choice when the big guys dictated the standards. Mac was the pesky upstart against the PC. iPod and iTunes forced the big record companies to change their evil ways. iPhone went up against the monoliths who controlled mobile communications. iPad finally gave us another choice vs. the PC companies’ netbooks and ill-conceived tablets. If anyone can claim to be the liberator, it’s Apple. Fortunately, Apple has the good sense to not to pose as the defender of humanity’s most precious value.

Motorola’s implication is that Apple is out for itself, while they (Motorola) are the ones fighting for the public good. Freedom of choice, with no restrictions. In truth, every moneymaking venture on earth is protective of its critical assets. Even Motorola. They protect what makes them unique, or fade into obscurity. Personally, I’m still fuming that Coca-Cola won’t reveal their secret formula. How dare they not give me the freedom to tweak the recipe so it’s perfect for my tastes.

I find the whole good vs. evil argument to be as toxic in marketing as it is in politics. Yet there will always be individuals and companies who choose this path. But we’re not talking politics here. When people buy a phone or tablet, they’re not voting for good or evil. They’re simply picking the device they like best.

We all know that Apple is controlling. Time after time, they explain why they are controlling. They take action to ensure that their customers get the Apple-quality experience they’re looking for. We also know that if we find Apple’s product philosophy so unsettling, we can simply go out and buy a competitor’s device. Like Motorola’s.

Motorola’s “it’s time to be free” ad is rumored to be running on the Super Bowl this weekend. No one needs to be reminded that this is the same venue where Apple ran the legendary 1984 commercial that Motorola is referencing. Whereas Apple’s ad stood head and shoulders above all the other ads of its time, Motorola’s ad will simply be one of the bunch. Very possibly, much like their tablet.