You’ve probably heard that Microsoft is opening its own stores, and that they’re taking a few cues from the Apple Stores. Addendum: they’re taking a few cues, the tables and stools, the shirts, the Genius Bars, the high fives, basically everything they can copy without running up against federal cloning laws.

This video, taken at the opening of the Microsoft Store in Scottsdale, is Exhibit A. If it weren’t for the bargain-hunter-ish PCs on the tables, you’d swear you were in Appleville. And if you’ve ever seen an Apple Store opening, you’ll be aghast over the degree to which they have imitated even the Apple hoopla. This isn’t copying. It’s identity theft.

I honestly don’t know how the people responsible can look at themselves in the mirror each morning. Surely there are other ways to get into retail without copying every detail from the people you’re constantly accused of copying in the first place.

Though there is some logic in replicating a proven winner, I’ll be extremely surprised if this works. The Apple Stores have broken retail records because millions of Mac-loving and Apple-curious people literally had no place to go for knowledgeable advice, hands-on experience and service. The stores broke records because, like most of Apple’s efforts, they were inventive. Microsoft Stores are doomed for two simple reasons:

1. PC people have a zillion other places to go to touch the latest models and get technical support: electronics chains, office supply chains, warehouse chains and countless ma-and-pa shops.

2. PC customers are price-driven. Even if they visit a Microsoft Store to try things out, they’ll buy where it’s cheapest — on the Internet or at a competing retailer. Remember, Microsoft itself has been so proudly advertising the mindset of the “laptop hunters.”

It’s just hard to imagine that too many people will feel particularly motivated to visit a Microsoft Store — unless, of course, it’s to join in the merriment on opening day.