Posts Tagged: microsoft

microsoft / strategy / technology — 7 Comments
12
Aug 10

Microsoft goes Mac-sniping

After playing the part of punching bag in the Apple’s long-running Mac vs. PC campaign, then fighting back with a peashooter in its own I’m a PC campaign, Microsoft is on the warpath. With a new section in their website entitled PC versus Mac, they’re turning the volume all the way up to 7.

Before we pause to read, let us enjoy the accoutrements. While most web pages display a window title, Microsoft actually crams a mini-ad into that tiny space — complete with a double-dose of “more.” You can almost hear the marketing chief exhorting his troops, “Make every pixel on this page sell!”

As you can see above, the navigation area atop the main image does a perfect job of differentiating PC from Mac. It’s a mess. We get two navigation bars (awkwardly spaced), four tabs, a “Were you looking for?” pop-up and an ill-placed, barely noticeable “PC versus Mac” title. Appropriately, the woman’s face seems to be saying, “No, really, I’m glad to see you — I just didn’t have a chance to clean up.”

Well it’s August, maybe the web designers are on holiday. Let’s just skip directly to the content. Like Apple’s Why you’ll love a Mac pages, Microsoft breaks its story down into bite-size chunks. Do they pass or fail?

1. Macs might spoil your fun.
Microsoft makes a point that in the universe of PCs, you can find models that have Blu-ray, TV tuners, 3G wireless, and the ability to connect to Xbox and TV. Can’t do that on a Mac. Fair enough. Pass.

2. Macs can take time to learn.
This section boldly states, “The computer that’s easiest to use is typically the one you already know. While some may say Macs are easy, the reality is that they can come with a learning curve.” It’s been a while since I’ve seen logic as lame. This is like telling the stick-shift owner that automatic transmissions are easier, but they come with a learning curve. Of course they do. Everything in life has a learning curve. Once you learn, it might just make what’s left of your life more pleasant. Fail.

3. Macs don’t work as well at work or at school.
This isn’t just a scare tactic, it’s at odds with Microsoft’s own business. Here we are warned that it can be difficult to share files with PC users if you use Apple’s productivity suite. No mention that if you use Microsoft’s own fabulous Office for Mac, you get seamless compatibility guaranteed by Microsoft itself. Ugly fail.

4. Macs don’t like to share.
 I never knew it was hard to share on a Mac until I read this. I share things instantly and effortlessly all day. Whatever setup was required was so insignificant I don’t remember it. Fail.

5. Macs might not like your PC stuff.
Here, we discover that files from Apple’s productivity suite won’t open on a PC. Hey wait a second. Didn’t they just say that? Oh, and if there is a Mac version of the software you want, you’ll have to buy it again and relearn it. Uh… buy it again, yes. Relearn it, no. Double fail for redundancy.

6. Macs don’t let you choose.
This section starts by saying “PCs give you a lot more choice and capabilities for your money.” Interestingly, they never mention the money part again, even though it’s probably their strongest argument. Instead, it’s all about Blu-ray, TV tuner (didn’t we already discuss this already too?) and all the colors you can choose from besides Apple’s white or silver (watch it pal, that’s aluminum!). Fail.

The beauty of Apple’s famous-but-now-defunct Mac vs. PC campaign was its tone of voice. With humor, it delivered a very aggressive message without making Apple sound nasty. On Apple’s website — then and now — the comparisons to PCs are presented positively (“It’s designed to be a better computer,” “It’s compatible with your stuff,” etc.). Microsoft’s tone is far less appealing — you might even say whiny and threatening.

I don’t knock Microsoft for creating these pages. They have a business, and they need to stop the growing number of defectors in their tracks. However, I will say that some artful writing would have helped. A lot.

They might have waited till the designers got back from vacation, too.

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strategy / technology — 5 Comments
1
Jul 10

The brief life of Microsoft Kin

Not a good day for Microsoft Kin

For anyone keeping score, Microsoft’s dual-disaster Kin One and Kin Two phones managed to breathe on their own for a mere 48 days. Not even enough time to have a litter of puppies.

Sources said “disappointing sales.” One can only imagine what those numbers looked like.

It’s not like this comes as a surprise. You could smell disaster in the initial press release. I blogged once about the lunacy initially, and then again when research confirmed that the target audience wasn’t interested. But hey, I was just a singer in the chorus — these phones were ridiculed pretty much everywhere.

The big question is, how does something like this happen? How could Microsoft just put on the blinders and so enthusiastically fling itself off of a cliff?

A favorite pastime among agency people is looking at some of the wretched ads out there and wondering how on earth they ever got through all the internal checkpoints at the agency, and then again at the client. Somehow, unfathomably, blatantly bad ideas don’t always get shot down. In fact, sometimes they are lovingly embraced. Generously, we can call this human error.

But marketers hardly have the exclusive on inexcusable lapses. Hollywood occasionally serves up those delicious combinations of bad casting and bad script — movies that would be instantly rejected by any amateur moviemaker, yet somehow glide from pitch to production to distribution.

So what’s Microsoft’s problem? Untalented managers? Oblivious CEO? Bad research? Engadget is running a story about what happened behind the scenes with Kin, a story that involves a mid-project OS change and a resulting 18-month delay.

Yeah, fine. But I’m sorry, Kin was just bad casting and a bad script. Kin was based on the idea that “young socials” (teens and 20s) would spark to a less-capable phone “made just for them” — when every young person I know is lusting for an iPhone, Droid or whatever. They want text messaging, apps and games — all of which were mysteriously missing in Kin. The one thing they do not want is “My First Sony.”

Inexplicably, Microsoft thought Kin was a good idea. It wasn’t. In fact, it wasn’t even close, which is why it died faster than any product I can remember. For a company in this industry not to recognize the utter wrongness of Kin is even more unforgivable than creating it.

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strategy / technology — 1 Comment
22
Jun 10

Dancing with Steve Ballmer

Confession: I have a secret fascination with Steve Ballmer.

Certainly not because he’s any kind of visionary. I just find it fascinating to watch the charisma-challenged CEO perform his dance with words, putting a spin on things that are no longer very spinnable.

I thought I knew the man pretty well by now, but I did have a revelation watching this CNN Money interview. Ballmer will spin his little heart out — but he does some serious cogitation in an attempt to avoid the big fib. In fact, he resists the temptation even when the Microsoft-friendly interviewer lobs a softball to which he need only reply, “Yes.” You can see his brain working hard not to say the thing that will haunt him later.

Here are are some of my favorite moments from his exchange with interviewer Poppy Harlow (who has one of the greatest names in journalism).

Poppy: You are pretty confident about where you’re going in mobile. Can you win in mobile?
Ballmer: We can do very well in mobile.

[Geez. The lady just said you had confidence. Show some!]

Ballmer: The first step is to go from declining to growing. I think we’ll do a nice job of that.

[One moment please. I’m having an inspiration overload.]

Ballmer: We have a very well, kind of, received at least, by, uh, what we call the blogosphere [ah, so that was yours — catchy!], a very well received product in Windows Phone 7 which ships this year — WHOOSH! — and we’ll take off from there.

[Right. “Well received,” but unshipped, and with no firm date set. Nice job with the sound effect too. Even Steve Jobs doesn’t do this.]

Poppy: Looking at making the technology behind the phones, but not the phones themselves — that’s the right move, that’s the way to go?
Ballmer: Well that’s where we are [this brazen talk must end!], and it certainly has served us very well in the PC business, and we’re driving ahead in phones.

[When in doubt, cling to the PC model. “The people” love that.]

Poppy: What’s your hope for phones that use Microsoft technology?
Ballmer: We’ll give people choices … one of the advantages of the PC ecosystem — PC and now the phone — is to give people a range of choice.

Well, Steve, you know I’m not going to give up on you. But honestly, you need to change a couple of things. First, you should drop this bit about phones being just like PCs. If they were, Microsoft would be leading the charge and Apple would be insignificant. Second, it’s not nearly enough to stand for “offering choice.” Apple offered choice to an existing smartphone market. The League of Android gave people umpteen more choices. We still have BlackBerry and others. We’ve got choices out the wazoo.

If you’d like to show up at the party (three years late), you’ll need more than a tired slogan. Try making a phone people can get excited about.

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technology — 5 Comments
7
Jun 10

Battle of the Steves

"PCs in greater and greater number"

Probably the last thing this world needs is a demonstration of the difference between Steve Jobs and Steve Ballmer. Nonetheless, we got a pretty good one at the D8 Conference.

One of Jobs’ more interesting moments was his view of the PC’s future. He noted that trucks were largely replaced by cars only when cars sprouted consumer amenities. We still need trucks, but not for as many things. Similarly, we will continue to need PCs, but not for as many things. Tablet-like devices will just make most things so much easier.

Seems pretty obvious.

Then comes Ballmer’s interview. His duty, of course, is to disagree with Jobs. Hearing Mossberg’s summary of Jobs’ statement, Ballmer jumps in. “People will be using PCs in greater and greater number for many years to come,” he says, but “I think PCs will continue to shift in form factors.” He goes on talking about changes in “semiconductor infrastructure” (now he’s talking our language) to support Windows in different devices, and so on.

Aha. So iPads won’t rule the world. PCs will still be around, but in a different form. Mossberg presses Ballmer by asking if the iPad is actually a PC by this argument, to which Ballmer says, “of course it is.”

So what’s Ballmer’s point again? He’s basically just agreed with Jobs that future devices will take different forms than conventional PCs. He’s just insisting that we continue to call them PCs. Now that’s leadership.

Personally, I wish politicians and corporate executives would learn that being human is more important than disagreeing with their competitors. Ballmer would score more points if he simply said, “I don’t disagree with what Steve Jobs said on this stage. New devices will obviously take over many of the PC’s functions, and Microsoft is working hard to build this future.” He could always hope nobody mentions the now-abandoned Courier project.

My point is that disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing is conventional, uninspiring and pointless. If Microsoft wants to help build the future, they’re not going to do it by clinging to words like “PC.”

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strategy / technology — 7 Comments
13
May 10

Microsoft: creating an alternate reality

I suppose it makes sense. If your current reality seems sufficiently gloomy, why not just create a new one?

Microsoft did.

With Windows Phone 7 delayed till next year, competitors leaving them in the dust, and no one exactly clamoring for Microsoft to save the day — they decided to invent their own market.

Not only did Microsoft imagine their own group of hungry consumers, they invented a phone to sell to them. Two phones, actually. These are the new Kin One and Kin Two that I blogged about a while back — phones designed especially for the “social generation.”

Now comes a study that takes a long, detailed look at the social habits of teens. Its message to Microsoft: better get cracking on Kin Three.

Two of the survey’s key findings don’t bode well for a Kin landslide. Or even a Kin trickle, for that matter. Text messaging, at 72%, is by far the #1 way for teens to connect. It is also the #1 missing feature on both Kins.

46% play games, which are also nonexistent on the Kins. No apps either. What Kin offers is a camera and connections to three social networking sites chosen by Microsoft. Even then, it only connects to the Internet every 15 minutes.

In my own survey of random respondents in this dimension, I find that people might be interested in a less-featured smartphone if it were priced way below the others. However, indications are that the Kins will sell for near the price of a $99 iPhone and require a normal data plan.

So the social generation will likely have to choose between a phone that truly does what they do (and is infinitely expandable with apps), and a Kin that does little of what they do. How agonizing a decision that will be.

In an alternate universe somewhere, I’m sure they’ll be lining up around the block to buy a Kin. Microsoft should take solace in that — and leave this reality to those who know how to innovate.

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technology — 12 Comments
3
May 10

iPad killers take a time-out

One day, they may get around to it

I need to un-think something I thought few months ago. Shortly after CES, I expressed the opinion that iPad wouldn’t be able to muscle its way in as easily as iPhone did.

That only seemed logical. At iPhone’s launch, its features were a surprise to everyone. It took Apple’s competitors a good year or two to even begin catching up. When iPad launched, its features were a surprise to almost no one. Surely the combatants would never allow themselves to get hoodwinked so easily again.

There would be no head start for Apple this time around. HP was working on Slate, running a form of Windows. Microsoft was working on Courier, with its cool “journal” motif. Video teasers abounded. Everyone and his mother showed off a tablet at CES.

Now iPad is a few months old, Apple has already shipped its millionth device, and the other devices are… mysteriously missing in action. Astonishingly, the competition is sliding backward instead of moving forward.

In one week, we learned that both HP and Microsoft are bailing on their respective tablets. HP is no doubt re-tooling to make Palm’s WebOS the foundation for their mobile products. That should help them (one day), though it does send them back to square one. Not sure what Microsoft’s plan is, and I’ve given up trying to understand them.

Is it my imagination, or did Apple just get a free pass to run away with it for the first year? Well, not exactly. The Google tablet is still warming up in the wings. At least they have the Android OS, which is a good sign. But so far, all we’ve seen from Google is the same kind of concept and teaser videos we were treated to by HP and Microsoft. And that’s a bad sign.

Looking back, I guess I gave the competition too much credit. It was a silly thing to do, and I promise it won’t happen again.

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strategy / technology — 8 Comments
16
Apr 10

Microsoft unveils Thing One and Thing Two

Microsoft President of Entertainment and Devices Robbie Bach, holding his new pride and joy

Actually, it’s Kin One and Kin Two. I had my heart set on a “next of kin” joke, but I came up empty.

No matter, Microsoft has been throwing out plenty of straight lines this week with the Kin intro. These two phones are aimed at “the social generation” — further defined as the 15-30s who are “social networking enthusiasts.”

As such, the world of Kin is not a very grown-up place. It’s built with parts of Zune and the possibly soon-to-come Windows Phone 7. These phones are designed especially for the young ’uns — you know, with all that cool stuff the kids like to do.

They offer “the Zune experience,” except for one glaring omission: apps. So there will be no game-playing around these parts. Flash? Uh-uh. Kins are simply designed to be the perfect tool for social networking. Except for one other glaring omission: instant messaging.

But then that’s understandable, because they only connect to the Internet every 15 minutes. That interval is unchangeable (though you can force a manual connection). Hey, what’s a 15-minute delay between friends.

Watching the video demo, the interface does have some interesting features for its intended audience. And both models have pretty good cameras (although no photo or video editing). You can upload to any site that Microsoft chooses to enable — which currently does not include Twitter. Well, who uses Twitter, really.

To me, the two Kins just feel like a misread of the market. They don’t seem to be all that good at the one thing they’re supposed to do. More important, I question the need for a “kiddie” phone in the first place. The social networking crowd has plenty of great smartphones to lust after already, all of which provide a ton more capability. A Kin may be enough for a 15-year-old, maybe. For the 30-year-old, no way.

One thing these models will offer is an excess of logos. They’ll come wearing the badges of Windows Phone, Sharp and either Verizon & Vodaphone. I’m not sure if they’re all trying to take credit — or just spreading out the blame.

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advertising / strategy — 7 Comments
28
Mar 10

Microsoft gives us a good binging

An old boss once taught me to appreciate the absurdity of advertising by imagining the movie version of our meetings. From there, I started imagining the movie versions of meetings I never even attended — like the one that led to the above clip from the latest episode of The Vampire Diaries.

INT. MICROSOFT CONFERENCE ROOM — DAY

The Bing marketing group sits at a long conference table dotted with Microsoft-logo’ed, environmentally friendly coffee mugs. There’s tension in the air. The chief of Bing marketing, a man who strikes fear into his minions, needs ideas. Every attendee understands the urgency. In the public mind, Bing is but a pale shadow of Google.

CHIEF: It’s showtime, people. What do we have?

Awkward pause. A feeling of dread pervades. Finally, one young buck gathers his nerve and delivers the speech he’s practiced all morning.

YOUNG BUCK: I have an idea. Just think: Google has become a verb, right? You don’t search for something, you Google it. Well… that’s what we need to do. We have to become a verb.

Again, the attendees remain silent — this time out of fear for their colleague’s life. The chief looks agitated. The marketing pros in the room find the idea laughable, and sense the slaughter to come.

CHIEF: And, uh … how exactly do you propose we do this?

YOUNG BUCK (with inexplicable confidence): Two words: Vampire Diaries.

The marketing group starts mentally planning a going-away party. But then — a miracle. The chief ponders the thought.

CHIEF: Young man, I like the way you think. Let’s do lunch tomorrow. And I’d like to introduce you to Steve…

What Microsoft has done is pretty darn silly — because you don’t achieve Google status by pretending you’re a cultural phenomenon. This move reeks of the astroturfing Microsoft has attempted in the past. Google earned a place in our vocabulary by being good, not by putting on a play.

But as much as I enjoy deriding Microsoft, I hold the producers of The Vampire Diaries responsible. Hell, product placement people lurk around every corner, trying to sneak brands into a thousand TV shows and movies. Your production is not obligated to accept their pathetic offers — especially when they force you to violate the prime directive of screenwriting: to hook an audience on your fictional world, you must create a believable world.

In the show, we get a full-screen, amply branded Bing search, along with the spoken words, “so …. I binged it.” Since no one on earth has ever uttered these words, and since the character acts as if everyone speaks this way, the audience is indeed introduced to a fictional world. Unfortunately, it’s Microsoft’s fiction, not Vampire’s.

So in this particular episode, we have two villains: Microsoft and The Vampire Diaries. One has concocted a harebrained scheme, the other has fallen for it hook, line and sinker.

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strategy / technology — 11 Comments
22
Mar 10

The curiously underfeatured Windows Phone 7

Close your eyes and think happy thoughts — you might not notice what's missing

It appears that Windows Phone 7 will soon be among us. During its incubation period, Android has come out swinging and Apple has continued to perfect iPhone.

Given how long Microsoft has been working on it (years?), and how far its competitors have come (very), it’s highly curious that Windows Phone 7 will ship with three noticeable deficiencies: no Flash, no multitasking for third-party apps and no cut-and-paste.

If you’ve been keeping score, those are the very same deficiencies for which Apple has been slammed by competitors and critics. Only in iPhone OS 3.0 did Apple finally get around to cut-and-paste.

Microsoft does claim that they’re working with Adobe to add Flash as a feature later (why this should take so long I don’t know), but the other items are omitted on purpose. This doesn’t exactly defang the argument that Microsoft copies what people like about Apple. Now they appear to be copying even the things people don’t like about Apple.

And so Microsoft must live with the consequences of its software design. Android will be emboldened because their “advantages” expand to include Windows Phone 7 as well as iPhone. Apple will be strengthened because the things they’ve been criticized for were just validated by the enemy.

One company who is threatened by Windows Phone 7 is Microsoft — which may have just designed itself into that awkward place between two sides of a vice.

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advertising / strategy — 7 Comments
19
Mar 10

Brother, can you spare a tweet?

I have a horrible confession to make: I subscribe to the Zune enews. Hey, at least I’m honest. I could just have easily started this post with “I have a friend…”

Of course, I only subscribe out of professional/morbid curiosity. And yesterday I found quite a treat in my inbox. Zune is running a promo. Basically, it goes like this: if you tell the world how much you love Zune, you might win a free one.

This idea is a tribute to the obvious. We need more buzz, so let’s bribe people to give us some. “Those kids” with their dang social media will do the work for us. Unfortunately, those crafty Zune marketers overlooked a big part of the obvious: how silly and desperate they look doing this type of thing.

When I clicked the link, it got even better. In the event that you’re not quite brain-dead enough for this promo, they provide a “sample” tweet, in hopes that you’ll pile it on in a similar fashion.

@Zune I remember the first time I synced my music with my Zune wirelessly, and I haven’t used a sync cable since. #ilovezune

Of course, you’re free to be as original as you wish. The only requirement is that you include the “#ilovezune”tag  in your tweet. Apparently “@ilovehumiliatingmyself” was already in use.

Good lord, Microsoft.

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