Posts Tagged: microsoft


14
Oct 10

Microsoft tries the “Lemmings” approach

And now, Windows Phone ad #2.

This one will be more polarizing than the Windows Phone launch ad, because it doesn’t just have some fun with current smartphone users — it judges them.

That first spot poked fun in a kind-hearted way. It said, “Hey, ya gotta laugh at yourselves.” In this follow-up spot, our happy host turns into Mr. Hyde, saying, “You’re all a bunch of zombies.”

This isn’t too far off from Apple’s famously misguided moment, when they ran a commercial that said, “You’re all a bunch of lemmings.” Coming just one year after its historic 1984 commercial, Lemmings bombed horribly because it insulted the very people Apple was trying to impress.

This new Windows Phone ad portrays iPhone and Android users as lost souls living in a twilight world, enslaved by their phones. Oblivious to the consequences of their addiction. Connected to the world yet disconnected from each other.

A first-time smartphone buyer might be spurred to action by this approach. Current iPhone and Android users, not so much. The message Microsoft sends to them is, in effect, “You’re doing it wrong” — which is either insulting or naive.

There’s no mystery why people are so engaged/mesmerized by their phones. It’s because they’re enjoying the hell out of them. They feel no need to be “saved,” especially by a phone that has only a wisp of an app library.

“Getting in and out” quickly, as Microsoft suggests, is not the point of having a smartphone. Accessing rich content is. And every smartphone user already has the ability to get to their content quickly and efficiently.

Okay. Now that I’ve gotten all that off my chest, how schizo would I appear if I said I really liked this spot? Well, I do. I love it purely as a creative effort, removed from its strategy. The one-take staging, the slo-mo mood, the Donovan soundtrack — it’s hypnotizing and delivers its message well, ill-conceived as that message might be.

This, of course, is the problem. Creative alone won’t make the world beat a path to Microsoft’s door. A compelling strategy would come in handy.

Remember, Lemmings was a creative gem in its day — but it generated more hostility than love.


12
Oct 10

Windows Phone 7 has its day

Can Windows Phone 7 really carve out a piece of the smartphone market? Can it save Ballmer’s job? Unknown. But it has given me a couple days’ worth of blog fodder, and that’s the important thing.

Some random thoughts from yesterday’s WP7 launch event:

Getting the press. The WP7 launch coverage was surprisingly low-key. By evening, the front pages of CNN, NY Times and MSNBC had no top-level story about Ballmer’s event. A bit of a contrast from the front-page headlines and photos Apple gets for its launches.

A different kind of phone. Those are the words with which Ballmer began his presentation of WP7. Lame. Google “a different kind of” and you get over 20,000,000 results. Maybe the phrase is more unique on Bing.

Was the writer on vacation? Following those opening words came something far more horrifying. The WP7 overview: Always delightful … wonderfully mine. Following the launch, perhaps they can sell the line to Chanel No. 5.

Missing the memo. Apparently Microsoft didn’t notice that Apple was slammed for three years over iPhone’s lack of copy-and-paste. With all of its software skills, Microsoft couldn’t get copy-and-paste into its 1.0 product? Coming “some time in 2011.” Stunning.

Multitasking. Gee, look at that. No multitasking either. When “pressed” by Engadget, WP7 head Joe Belfiore wouldn’t say when multitasking was coming. Which leads one to believe it’s even farther off than cut-and-paste.

Flash. Et tu, Microsoft? No Flash in WP7. Not even Silverlight. Add that to the list of future enhancements. I’m not hearing a lot of complaining about this. In fact, you really have to search the reviews to find any mention of the lack of Flash. Bias!

Verizon MIA. Welcome to the good ship AT&T, Microsoft, where you will find Apple as your fellow passenger. True, there’s a plan to expand to multiple carriers by next year, but early adopters face the same sad choice that iPhone users face: AT&T or AT&T.

The Microsoft App Store. Oops, there isn’t one. But there will be. Current status: “working with developers.” The idea of being one of the first on a new platform will appeal to some developers. Most, however, are already deciding between two big, established money-makers — iPhone and Android — or spreading out their resources to support two platforms. Adding a third to the mix? That’s one very large hump to get over.

The TV spot. The final version of the ad appeared on launch day. Definitely more polished than the one I commented on last week. View the finished spot here. Again, I congratulate the creatives on a nicely done commercial. Fun to watch. Much better ending now. Strategically, however, I stand by my initial reaction. People are absorbed in their smartphones because they can use them for a zillion different things, and go as deep as they wish to go. That’s easy to laugh at, but it’s not a negative. Good news for WP7 users: with the lack of any real app library, you’ll be able to get in and out of a WP7 phone real fast.

The message. The commercial now ends with the line, “Designed to get you in … and out … and back to life.” (Note to editing team: the word “designed” is totally lost in the music.) This is a valid message to those who don’t already own an iPhone or Android phone. They’re the ones who might laugh heartily at those who are so absorbed by their phones. It’s a silly message to those who already own an iPhone or Android. The ability to go as deep as they wish is the reason they love their phones, not the reason they care to ditch them.

Top secret. In an interview, one of the Microsoft people mentioned that versions of the commercial had leaked out on YouTube prior to launch. Whether you do the editing at an editing house or in an on-premises edit room, it’s hard to imagine a near-finished version of your spot “leaking out.” If it did, you’d have a really good idea of who did the leaking. In the Apple world, you’d be executed for this offense. Major scandal. In Windows-land, it doesn’t seem to be an issue. (At least publicly.) No commentary, just an observation.

WP7 by the numbers. According to Engadget, ”By specs alone, WP7 is slightly behind the edge that Android and Apple’s offerings are riding.” One would think that the company joining the revolution-in-progress would arrive with features that at least achieve parity with those driving the revolution.

Quote of the day. Joe Belfiore said in an interview with Wired: “The success of the iPhone certainly had an impact on the industry and an impact on us. And we said there were a lot of things we could do to deliver a solution that’s different from the iPhone but have some of its benefits.” Only some? Guess it’s a good idea to set reasonable goals…

Final take: Windows Phone 7 is a product that isn’t quite ready to do battle with iPhone and Android. It’s missing too many key features. It can’t make up for those features with an interface that “gets you in and out” faster. Personal opinion: Microsoft launched WP7 because they couldn’t afford not to. It had to be available for the holiday season or face certain death. With a $500 million marketing campaign and lots of partners, it gets an upgrade to uncertain death. We’ll be watching!


7
Oct 10

Microsoft suffers relapse of silliness

I have to admit, Microsoft’s latest marketing ploy has legs. Lots of ’em.

Unfortunately, they’re the kind of legs that leave you more aghast than enticed.

On the Windows Phone home page, your favorite app icons have been transformed into mini-Rockettes to demonstrate “your Windows stuff can go where you go.”

Like the alcoholic who can’t seem to stay on the wagon, Microsoft again succumbs to that irresistible urge to be silly. These repeated lapses indicate a belief that you need a “shtick” to win over an audience. Not exactly the most sophisticated take on advertising.

Only Microsoft would feel it necessary to jazz up Office with Clippy

It’s hard to say where this nonsense started, but it comes and goes throughout Microsoft’s history. Office’s Clippy character was one widely-maligned embarrassment. Another was the childish mini-Mac character who served time as the help icon in Word for Macintosh. Then came those wacky dinosaur-headed office workers. And in real life, the more recent smartphone funeral parade.

With a trail of embarrassments spanning many years and multiple agencies, one can only conclude it’s something in the water at Microsoft.

Steve Jobs once famously said: “The problem with Microsoft is, they just have no taste … I don’t mean that in a small way, I mean that in a big way.” We can safely say there’s little doubt of that anymore.

Though Steve was talking about products, taste is every bit as important in marketing. You can’t produce efforts like Microsoft’s unless good taste is muzzled or nonexistent.

Another laugh riot from the marketing minds of Microsoft

Clearly Steve Ballmer doesn’t have a passion for, or understanding of, great marketing. That’s okay. There are plenty of CEOs in the same boat, and there’s a simple solution for his problem. He must (a) accept what he lacks personally, (b) hire somebody who’s got it, and (c) give him/her full authority to make decisions. It’s the authority part that’s usually the deal-killer.

Microsoft has enough problems trying to catch up to a revolution that left them in the dust three years ago. The last thing they need right now is a marketing group with a special talent for shooting itself in the foot.


5
Oct 10

Windows Phone 7: super or superficial?

They’re bubbling with excitement in Redmond, as Microsoft prepares to release Windows Phone 7 into the wild.

Happily, we can start our own celebration early — as two commercials have already popped up on YouTube. One of which I’ve posted here.

Just in case it gets yanked (which seems to have happened to similar links already), here’s your executive summary:

In a series of clips, we see a variety of people so consumed by their phones that they are oblivious to the world around them — often with amusingly tragic results. It all builds to the ending, when Mr. Voiceover says:

It’s time for a phone … to save us from our phone. New Windows Phone. The first phone designed to bring you the stuff you need — and get you back to what matters.

What matters, of course, is the traditional family dinner we see at the end.

As always, it’s important to note that there are two ways one can react to commercials — as an innocent member of the mass market, or as the technology-obsessed types we are.

For the innocents — it’s a pretty good spot. Nicely produced. Fun soundtrack. The better commercials somehow capture a human truth, and this one does. We can all nod our heads as we see people glued to their phones. So the line It’s time for a phone to save us from our phone will resonate. It’s a nice piece of writing.

Like I said, that’s for the innocents.

For those who look one level deeper, well … it’s a spectacular display of wishful thinking.

The reason people are absorbed by their iPhones and Androids is that they’re actually getting all the stuff they’ve been craving. They’re being more productive, better informed and better entertained. The ability to do these things is the very essence of the smartphone revolution. It’s the reason why the phones that can are killing off the phones that can’t.

So, after years of watching the revolution from the sidelines, Microsoft’s big contribution is a phone that allows us to just “glance and go”? That bit of superficiality is delivered by Ms. Voiceover at the end of the second commercial.

Hate to burst their bubble, but if glancing and going is your thing, there’s an app for that. With iPhone’s 250,000 apps and Android’s 80,000 apps, you can be absorbed to whatever degree you wish.

It’s condescending for Microsoft to tell us we’re spending too much time with our phones, or suggest that we’re missing what’s really important in life. Many of us use our phones precisely to stay on top of what’s really important — including getting closer to our families.

The real problem is that Microsoft has missed what’s important in the phone market. Had they joined the fun in any meaningful way two or three years ago, they wouldn’t have to dream their way into the party today.

The odds don’t look good.

Just yesterday, the tech stocks took a beating because a Goldman Sachs analyst lowered MSFT from buy to neutral, citing “concerns about the company’s mobile-device business.” Not exactly a vote of confidence on the eve of the Windows Phone 7 launch.

So, now that the engineers have had their way with Windows Phone 7, the marketers will take over. If these commercials represent the official company line, it won’t be surprising if most consumers take one glance … and just go.

[Thanks to Nate for the tip.]


14
Sep 10

Group dementia strikes at Microsoft

Is it Photoshop? An inmate uprising? One stretches for explanations when gazing upon the unthinkable.

In this case, we must accept the truth, now documented by several sources: last week, Microsoft really did celebrate the developer release of Windows Phone 7 by staging a mock funeral for iPhone and Blackberry. (No word on Android’s fate.)

Presumably, they used the hearse left over from the Kin launch earlier this year.

Photo: Trioculus (Flickr)

It should be noted that this wasn’t the first time someone pulled the ol’ funeral shtick out of the closet. Steve Jobs performed the same stunt in 2002 by putting his own beloved Mac OS 9 in an onstage coffin to celebrate the ascension of Mac OS X.

Think about that one for a moment. Steve was putting his own product in a coffin, simply to make a dramatic point. He wasn’t sticking Windows in a coffin to proclaim its doom. Sitting there with 3% of the market share, that would have made him look ridiculous. Microsoft, with a 0% market share for its all-new Window Phone 7, has no such qualms.

But I don’t mean to make this a story about Steve Jobs vs. Microsoft. It’s really just a story about intelligence vs. stupidity.

When the world is watching, and you’re playing catch-up with the big boys, you simply don’t go out and embarrass yourself. When you get all dressed up, you think twice about putting on the clown nose.

I’m not suggesting that Microsoft employees be locked in their offices. (Well, maybe one.) A new product launch is exactly the right time to celebrate all those months of hard work. People should be excited. Dreams of success should be dancing in their heads. If I worked at Microsoft, I’d be drinking the beer and partying with the rest of them.

It’s just that normally, a grown adult approves the celebration — and prevents employees of questionable taste from giving the whole company a black eye.

Fake funeral parades, giant phone models, costumes and hearses don’t just happen by themselves. Sometime, somewhere, a Microsoft manager looked at this brainless plan and said “sure, let’s have some fun” — instead of “you’re fired for even suggesting it.”

I can only imagine how the guys over in PR must feel. They must have steam coming out of their ears. Then again, this is Microsoft. It’s possible they were out there driving the hearse.


12
Aug 10

Microsoft goes Mac-sniping

After playing the part of punching bag in the Apple’s long-running Mac vs. PC campaign, then fighting back with a peashooter in its own I’m a PC campaign, Microsoft is on the warpath. With a new section in their website entitled PC versus Mac, they’re turning the volume all the way up to 7.

Before we pause to read, let us enjoy the accoutrements. While most web pages display a window title, Microsoft actually crams a mini-ad into that tiny space — complete with a double-dose of “more.” You can almost hear the marketing chief exhorting his troops, “Make every pixel on this page sell!”

As you can see above, the navigation area atop the main image does a perfect job of differentiating PC from Mac. It’s a mess. We get two navigation bars (awkwardly spaced), four tabs, a “Were you looking for?” pop-up and an ill-placed, barely noticeable “PC versus Mac” title. Appropriately, the woman’s face seems to be saying, “No, really, I’m glad to see you — I just didn’t have a chance to clean up.”

Well it’s August, maybe the web designers are on holiday. Let’s just skip directly to the content. Like Apple’s Why you’ll love a Mac pages, Microsoft breaks its story down into bite-size chunks. Do they pass or fail?

1. Macs might spoil your fun.
Microsoft makes a point that in the universe of PCs, you can find models that have Blu-ray, TV tuners, 3G wireless, and the ability to connect to Xbox and TV. Can’t do that on a Mac. Fair enough. Pass.

2. Macs can take time to learn.
This section boldly states, “The computer that’s easiest to use is typically the one you already know. While some may say Macs are easy, the reality is that they can come with a learning curve.” It’s been a while since I’ve seen logic as lame. This is like telling the stick-shift owner that automatic transmissions are easier, but they come with a learning curve. Of course they do. Everything in life has a learning curve. Once you learn, it might just make what’s left of your life more pleasant. Fail.

3. Macs don’t work as well at work or at school.
This isn’t just a scare tactic, it’s at odds with Microsoft’s own business. Here we are warned that it can be difficult to share files with PC users if you use Apple’s productivity suite. No mention that if you use Microsoft’s own fabulous Office for Mac, you get seamless compatibility guaranteed by Microsoft itself. Ugly fail.

4. Macs don’t like to share.
I never knew it was hard to share on a Mac until I read this. I share things instantly and effortlessly all day. Whatever setup was required was so insignificant I don’t remember it. Fail.

5. Macs might not like your PC stuff.
Here, we discover that files from Apple’s productivity suite won’t open on a PC. Hey wait a second. Didn’t they just say that? Oh, and if there is a Mac version of the software you want, you’ll have to buy it again and relearn it. Uh… buy it again, yes. Relearn it, no. Double fail for redundancy.

6. Macs don’t let you choose.
This section starts by saying “PCs give you a lot more choice and capabilities for your money.” Interestingly, they never mention the money part again, even though it’s probably their strongest argument. Instead, it’s all about Blu-ray, TV tuner (didn’t we already discuss this already too?) and all the colors you can choose from besides Apple’s white or silver (watch it pal, that’s aluminum!). Fail.

The beauty of Apple’s famous-but-now-defunct Mac vs. PC campaign was its tone of voice. With humor, it delivered a very aggressive message without making Apple sound nasty. On Apple’s website — then and now — the comparisons to PCs are presented positively (“It’s designed to be a better computer,” “It’s compatible with your stuff,” etc.). Microsoft’s tone is far less appealing — you might even say whiny and threatening.

I don’t knock Microsoft for creating these pages. They have a business, and they need to stop the growing number of defectors in their tracks. However, I will say that some artful writing would have helped. A lot.

They might have waited till the designers got back from vacation, too.


1
Jul 10

The brief life of Microsoft Kin

Not a good day for Microsoft Kin

For anyone keeping score, Microsoft’s dual-disaster Kin One and Kin Two phones managed to breathe on their own for a mere 48 days. Not even enough time to have a litter of puppies.

Sources said “disappointing sales.” One can only imagine what those numbers looked like.

It’s not like this comes as a surprise. You could smell disaster in the initial press release. I blogged once about the lunacy initially, and then again when research confirmed that the target audience wasn’t interested. But hey, I was just a singer in the chorus — these phones were ridiculed pretty much everywhere.

The big question is, how does something like this happen? How could Microsoft just put on the blinders and so enthusiastically fling itself off of a cliff?

A favorite pastime among agency people is looking at some of the wretched ads out there and wondering how on earth they ever got through all the internal checkpoints at the agency, and then again at the client. Somehow, unfathomably, blatantly bad ideas don’t always get shot down. In fact, sometimes they are lovingly embraced. Generously, we can call this human error.

But marketers hardly have the exclusive on inexcusable lapses. Hollywood occasionally serves up those delicious combinations of bad casting and bad script — movies that would be instantly rejected by any amateur moviemaker, yet somehow glide from pitch to production to distribution.

So what’s Microsoft’s problem? Untalented managers? Oblivious CEO? Bad research? Engadget is running a story about what happened behind the scenes with Kin, a story that involves a mid-project OS change and a resulting 18-month delay.

Yeah, fine. But I’m sorry, Kin was just bad casting and a bad script. Kin was based on the idea that “young socials” (teens and 20s) would spark to a less-capable phone “made just for them” — when every young person I know is lusting for an iPhone, Droid or whatever. They want text messaging, apps and games — all of which were mysteriously missing in Kin. The one thing they do not want is “My First Sony.”

Inexplicably, Microsoft thought Kin was a good idea. It wasn’t. In fact, it wasn’t even close, which is why it died faster than any product I can remember. For a company in this industry not to recognize the utter wrongness of Kin is even more unforgivable than creating it.


22
Jun 10

Dancing with Steve Ballmer

Confession: I have a secret fascination with Steve Ballmer.

Certainly not because he’s any kind of visionary. I just find it fascinating to watch the charisma-challenged CEO perform his dance with words, putting a spin on things that are no longer very spinnable.

I thought I knew the man pretty well by now, but I did have a revelation watching this CNN Money interview. Ballmer will spin his little heart out — but he does some serious cogitation in an attempt to avoid the big fib. In fact, he resists the temptation even when the Microsoft-friendly interviewer lobs a softball to which he need only reply, “Yes.” You can see his brain working hard not to say the thing that will haunt him later.

Here are are some of my favorite moments from his exchange with interviewer Poppy Harlow (who has one of the greatest names in journalism).

Poppy: You are pretty confident about where you’re going in mobile. Can you win in mobile?
Ballmer: We can do very well in mobile.

[Geez. The lady just said you had confidence. Show some!]

Ballmer: The first step is to go from declining to growing. I think we’ll do a nice job of that.

[One moment please. I’m having an inspiration overload.]

Ballmer: We have a very well, kind of, received at least, by, uh, what we call the blogosphere [ah, so that was yours — catchy!], a very well received product in Windows Phone 7 which ships this year — WHOOSH! — and we’ll take off from there.

[Right. “Well received,” but unshipped, and with no firm date set. Nice job with the sound effect too. Even Steve Jobs doesn’t do this.]

Poppy: Looking at making the technology behind the phones, but not the phones themselves — that’s the right move, that’s the way to go?
Ballmer: Well that’s where we are [this brazen talk must end!], and it certainly has served us very well in the PC business, and we’re driving ahead in phones.

[When in doubt, cling to the PC model. “The people” love that.]

Poppy: What’s your hope for phones that use Microsoft technology?
Ballmer: We’ll give people choices … one of the advantages of the PC ecosystem — PC and now the phone — is to give people a range of choice.

Well, Steve, you know I’m not going to give up on you. But honestly, you need to change a couple of things. First, you should drop this bit about phones being just like PCs. If they were, Microsoft would be leading the charge and Apple would be insignificant. Second, it’s not nearly enough to stand for “offering choice.” Apple offered choice to an existing smartphone market. The League of Android gave people umpteen more choices. We still have BlackBerry and others. We’ve got choices out the wazoo.

If you’d like to show up at the party (three years late), you’ll need more than a tired slogan. Try making a phone people can get excited about.


7
Jun 10

Battle of the Steves

"PCs in greater and greater number"

Probably the last thing this world needs is a demonstration of the difference between Steve Jobs and Steve Ballmer. Nonetheless, we got a pretty good one at the D8 Conference.

One of Jobs’ more interesting moments was his view of the PC’s future. He noted that trucks were largely replaced by cars only when cars sprouted consumer amenities. We still need trucks, but not for as many things. Similarly, we will continue to need PCs, but not for as many things. Tablet-like devices will just make most things so much easier.

Seems pretty obvious.

Then comes Ballmer’s interview. His duty, of course, is to disagree with Jobs. Hearing Mossberg’s summary of Jobs’ statement, Ballmer jumps in. “People will be using PCs in greater and greater number for many years to come,” he says, but “I think PCs will continue to shift in form factors.” He goes on talking about changes in “semiconductor infrastructure” (now he’s talking our language) to support Windows in different devices, and so on.

Aha. So iPads won’t rule the world. PCs will still be around, but in a different form. Mossberg presses Ballmer by asking if the iPad is actually a PC by this argument, to which Ballmer says, “of course it is.”

So what’s Ballmer’s point again? He’s basically just agreed with Jobs that future devices will take different forms than conventional PCs. He’s just insisting that we continue to call them PCs. Now that’s leadership.

Personally, I wish politicians and corporate executives would learn that being human is more important than disagreeing with their competitors. Ballmer would score more points if he simply said, “I don’t disagree with what Steve Jobs said on this stage. New devices will obviously take over many of the PC’s functions, and Microsoft is working hard to build this future.” He could always hope nobody mentions the now-abandoned Courier project.

My point is that disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing is conventional, uninspiring and pointless. If Microsoft wants to help build the future, they’re not going to do it by clinging to words like “PC.”


13
May 10

Microsoft: creating an alternate reality

I suppose it makes sense. If your current reality seems sufficiently gloomy, why not just create a new one?

Microsoft did.

With Windows Phone 7 delayed till next year, competitors leaving them in the dust, and no one exactly clamoring for Microsoft to save the day — they decided to invent their own market.

Not only did Microsoft imagine their own group of hungry consumers, they invented a phone to sell to them. Two phones, actually. These are the new Kin One and Kin Two that I blogged about a while back — phones designed especially for the “social generation.”

Now comes a study that takes a long, detailed look at the social habits of teens. Its message to Microsoft: better get cracking on Kin Three.

Two of the survey’s key findings don’t bode well for a Kin landslide. Or even a Kin trickle, for that matter. Text messaging, at 72%, is by far the #1 way for teens to connect. It is also the #1 missing feature on both Kins.

46% play games, which are also nonexistent on the Kins. No apps either. What Kin offers is a camera and connections to three social networking sites chosen by Microsoft. Even then, it only connects to the Internet every 15 minutes.

In my own survey of random respondents in this dimension, I find that people might be interested in a less-featured smartphone if it were priced way below the others. However, indications are that the Kins will sell for near the price of a $99 iPhone and require a normal data plan.

So the social generation will likely have to choose between a phone that truly does what they do (and is infinitely expandable with apps), and a Kin that does little of what they do. How agonizing a decision that will be.

In an alternate universe somewhere, I’m sure they’ll be lining up around the block to buy a Kin. Microsoft should take solace in that — and leave this reality to those who know how to innovate.