Posts Tagged: microsoft

technology — 12 Comments
3
May 10

iPad killers take a time-out

One day, they may get around to it

I need to un-think something I thought few months ago. Shortly after CES, I expressed the opinion that iPad wouldn’t be able to muscle its way in as easily as iPhone did.

That only seemed logical. At iPhone’s launch, its features were a surprise to everyone. It took Apple’s competitors a good year or two to even begin catching up. When iPad launched, its features were a surprise to almost no one. Surely the combatants would never allow themselves to get hoodwinked so easily again.

There would be no head start for Apple this time around. HP was working on Slate, running a form of Windows. Microsoft was working on Courier, with its cool “journal” motif. Video teasers abounded. Everyone and his mother showed off a tablet at CES.

Now iPad is a few months old, Apple has already shipped its millionth device, and the other devices are… mysteriously missing in action. Astonishingly, the competition is sliding backward instead of moving forward.

In one week, we learned that both HP and Microsoft are bailing on their respective tablets. HP is no doubt re-tooling to make Palm’s WebOS the foundation for their mobile products. That should help them (one day), though it does send them back to square one. Not sure what Microsoft’s plan is, and I’ve given up trying to understand them.

Is it my imagination, or did Apple just get a free pass to run away with it for the first year? Well, not exactly. The Google tablet is still warming up in the wings. At least they have the Android OS, which is a good sign. But so far, all we’ve seen from Google is the same kind of concept and teaser videos we were treated to by HP and Microsoft. And that’s a bad sign.

Looking back, I guess I gave the competition too much credit. It was a silly thing to do, and I promise it won’t happen again.

strategy / technology — 8 Comments
16
Apr 10

Microsoft unveils Thing One and Thing Two

Microsoft President of Entertainment and Devices Robbie Bach, holding his new pride and joy

Actually, it’s Kin One and Kin Two. I had my heart set on a “next of kin” joke, but I came up empty.

No matter, Microsoft has been throwing out plenty of straight lines this week with the Kin intro. These two phones are aimed at “the social generation” — further defined as the 15-30s who are “social networking enthusiasts.”

As such, the world of Kin is not a very grown-up place. It’s built with parts of Zune and the possibly soon-to-come Windows Phone 7. These phones are designed especially for the young ’uns — you know, with all that cool stuff the kids like to do.

They offer “the Zune experience,” except for one glaring omission: apps. So there will be no game-playing around these parts. Flash? Uh-uh. Kins are simply designed to be the perfect tool for social networking. Except for one other glaring omission: instant messaging.

But then that’s understandable, because they only connect to the Internet every 15 minutes. That interval is unchangeable (though you can force a manual connection). Hey, what’s a 15-minute delay between friends.

Watching the video demo, the interface does have some interesting features for its intended audience. And both models have pretty good cameras (although no photo or video editing). You can upload to any site that Microsoft chooses to enable — which currently does not include Twitter. Well, who uses Twitter, really.

To me, the two Kins just feel like a misread of the market. They don’t seem to be all that good at the one thing they’re supposed to do. More important, I question the need for a “kiddie” phone in the first place. The social networking crowd has plenty of great smartphones to lust after already, all of which provide a ton more capability. A Kin may be enough for a 15-year-old, maybe. For the 30-year-old, no way.

One thing these models will offer is an excess of logos. They’ll come wearing the badges of Windows Phone, Sharp and either Verizon & Vodaphone. I’m not sure if they’re all trying to take credit — or just spreading out the blame.

advertising / strategy — 7 Comments
28
Mar 10

Microsoft gives us a good binging

An old boss once taught me to appreciate the absurdity of advertising by imagining the movie version of our meetings. From there, I started imagining the movie versions of meetings I never even attended — like the one that led to the above clip from the latest episode of The Vampire Diaries.

INT. MICROSOFT CONFERENCE ROOM — DAY

The Bing marketing group sits at a long conference table dotted with Microsoft-logo’ed, environmentally friendly coffee mugs. There’s tension in the air. The chief of Bing marketing, a man who strikes fear into his minions, needs ideas. Every attendee understands the urgency. In the public mind, Bing is but a pale shadow of Google.

CHIEF: It’s showtime, people. What do we have?

Awkward pause. A feeling of dread pervades. Finally, one young buck gathers his nerve and delivers the speech he’s practiced all morning.

YOUNG BUCK: I have an idea. Just think: Google has become a verb, right? You don’t search for something, you Google it. Well… that’s what we need to do. We have to become a verb.

Again, the attendees remain silent — this time out of fear for their colleague’s life. The chief looks agitated. The marketing pros in the room find the idea laughable, and sense the slaughter to come.

CHIEF: And, uh … how exactly do you propose we do this?

YOUNG BUCK (with inexplicable confidence): Two words: Vampire Diaries.

The marketing group starts mentally planning a going-away party. But then — a miracle. The chief ponders the thought.

CHIEF: Young man, I like the way you think. Let’s do lunch tomorrow. And I’d like to introduce you to Steve…

What Microsoft has done is pretty darn silly — because you don’t achieve Google status by pretending you’re a cultural phenomenon. This move reeks of the astroturfing Microsoft has attempted in the past. Google earned a place in our vocabulary by being good, not by putting on a play.

But as much as I enjoy deriding Microsoft, I hold the producers of The Vampire Diaries responsible. Hell, product placement people lurk around every corner, trying to sneak brands into a thousand TV shows and movies. Your production is not obligated to accept their pathetic offers — especially when they force you to violate the prime directive of screenwriting: to hook an audience on your fictional world, you must create a believable world.

In the show, we get a full-screen, amply branded Bing search, along with the spoken words, “so …. I binged it.” Since no one on earth has ever uttered these words, and since the character acts as if everyone speaks this way, the audience is indeed introduced to a fictional world. Unfortunately, it’s Microsoft’s fiction, not Vampire’s.

So in this particular episode, we have two villains: Microsoft and The Vampire Diaries. One has concocted a harebrained scheme, the other has fallen for it hook, line and sinker.

strategy / technology — 11 Comments
22
Mar 10

The curiously underfeatured Windows Phone 7

Close your eyes and think happy thoughts — you might not notice what's missing

It appears that Windows Phone 7 will soon be among us. During its incubation period, Android has come out swinging and Apple has continued to perfect iPhone.

Given how long Microsoft has been working on it (years?), and how far its competitors have come (very), it’s highly curious that Windows Phone 7 will ship with three noticeable deficiencies: no Flash, no multitasking for third-party apps and no cut-and-paste.

If you’ve been keeping score, those are the very same deficiencies for which Apple has been slammed by competitors and critics. Only in iPhone OS 3.0 did Apple finally get around to cut-and-paste.

Microsoft does claim that they’re working with Adobe to add Flash as a feature later (why this should take so long I don’t know), but the other items are omitted on purpose. This doesn’t exactly defang the argument that Microsoft copies what people like about Apple. Now they appear to be copying even the things people don’t like about Apple.

And so Microsoft must live with the consequences of its software design. Android will be emboldened because their “advantages” expand to include Windows Phone 7 as well as iPhone. Apple will be strengthened because the things they’ve been criticized for were just validated by the enemy.

One company who is threatened by Windows Phone 7 is Microsoft — which may have just designed itself into that awkward place between two sides of a vice.

advertising / strategy — 7 Comments
19
Mar 10

Brother, can you spare a tweet?

I have a horrible confession to make: I subscribe to the Zune enews. Hey, at least I’m honest. I could just have easily started this post with “I have a friend…”

Of course, I only subscribe out of professional/morbid curiosity. And yesterday I found quite a treat in my inbox. Zune is running a promo. Basically, it goes like this: if you tell the world how much you love Zune, you might win a free one.

This idea is a tribute to the obvious. We need more buzz, so let’s bribe people to give us some. “Those kids” with their dang social media will do the work for us. Unfortunately, those crafty Zune marketers overlooked a big part of the obvious: how silly and desperate they look doing this type of thing.

When I clicked the link, it got even better. In the event that you’re not quite brain-dead enough for this promo, they provide a “sample” tweet, in hopes that you’ll pile it on in a similar fashion.

@Zune I remember the first time I synced my music with my Zune wirelessly, and I haven’t used a sync cable since. #ilovezune

Of course, you’re free to be as original as you wish. The only requirement is that you include the “#ilovezune”tag  in your tweet. Apparently “@ilovehumiliatingmyself” was already in use.

Good lord, Microsoft.

strategy — 10 Comments
25
Jan 10

Microsoft: needing a lesson from Disney

Attn: Microsoft — you have a message from Uncle Walt

As the Apple love-fest enters a new phase this week, I couldn’t help thinking about how some brands are so good at bonding with customers — while others excel at shooting themselves in the foot.

I flashed back to a moment I had in Disney World recently with my 12-year-old son. In an attempt to dazzle him with the depth of my Disney knowledge, I told him how, eons ago, you couldn’t just go on any ride you wanted. You had to buy this silly book of tickets (E-Tickets were the really cool rides), then hassle with buying extra tickets when you inevitably ran out.

“That’s stupid,” my son observed, “I bet nobody came here then.”

Pretty good logic, kid. But the truth, of course, is that tons of people came here then. It’s just that the Disney people were smart enough to look past the gaudy numbers and realize they could do it better. There was a way to make customers feel happier still, and pull them even closer to the Disney brand. The one-price, all-attraction pass was born.

I get the feeling Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer have never visited Disney. Or Universal, or Six Flags, or any of the major parks — since those businesses have all adopted the same winning system. The way they sell Windows is a hassle. It’s about Microsoft first, the customer second.

They’ve gotten a wee bit better with Windows 7, but still cling to the old model. There are now ”only” three versions at retail: Home Premium ($120), Professional ($200) and Ultimate ($220). The “good” version takes some serious investment.

Meanwhile, over at Apple, they’re selling the all-attraction pass. Only one version of Mac OS X exists. It’s got everything in it. It’s for students and moms, Hollywood film editors and scientists — and it’s priced at Microsoft’s low end. Like Disney, Apple realized (a) it’s easier to market one product, (b) it’s easier for customers to understand one product, and (c) it’s good business not to make people feel like they’re being gouged for every nickel.

Imagine how much happier Microsoft customers would be if there were only one version of Windows 7, all features included, reasonably priced. Just a fleeting knowledge of human behavior tells you that more people would buy the product — and more people would feel good about buying it.

Maybe then they’d actually have something to dance about in those Microsoft Stores.

advertising / creative / strategy — 17 Comments
4
Jan 10

When good jokes go bad

3mic

Anyone can have a joke fall flat at a party. It takes some real effort to flop on a global scale.

Yet for every campaign that has just the right kind of humor to succeed (like Apple’s Mac vs. PC), there seem to be a dozen dismal flops (like Microsoft’s Bill & Jerry).

You can analyze that to death — and some clients do — but what it boils down to is this: humor is just so damn subjective. Your brilliant bit of comedy may not seem quite so brilliant to the client, the focus group or even the director you fought so valiantly to sign. There’s also a far more horrifying possibility: your idea may not be as brilliant as you think. Hey, it happens. It’s not like the greatest creatives in our business haven’t made some colossal misjudgments.

Whatever. I was only thinking about this because I was struck by a series of videos that came my way before the holiday break. They make an interesting point about scoring with humor — regardless of the size of the budget. Some PC fanboy created his own satire of the Mac vs. PC spots, making PC the hero. Here’s an example:

Yes, it’s a total rip-off of the Apple spots. But you know what? This actually makes a better anti-Apple case than anything I’ve seen Microsoft do in the last year. With humor, it points out the fallacy of Apple’s argument (at least the fallacy from PC’s point of view). It amplifies some things people are already willing to believe about Apple. And, as Apple demonstrates daily, the intelligent use of humor makes it possible to deliver a brutally competitive message while remaining perfectly lovable.

I don’t suggest that Microsoft just rip off their competitor’s campaign. (Although they already directly acknowledge Apple’s campaign in their marketing, with little elegance.) My point is that humor, based on insight and intelligence, is an incredibly effective tool. It’s just that humor, insight and intelligence don’t often travel together.

(If you’re interested you can see a couple more of these PC-centric YouTube satires here and here.)

advertising / strategy — 2 Comments
21
Dec 09

Yahoo who?

yahoo_shipVultures on standby. A new report shows that Yahoo, once the darling of Internet search, has hit a record-low market share of 17.5%. Google, of course, keeps piling it on.

But wait, you say. Help is on its way. The new Microsoft/Yahoo partnership will activate in 2010. True, but this hole is getting deeper with every passing week. The purpose of the new deal was to boost the companies’ combined market share to over 30% from their current 28%. These new numbers are going down, not up.

The only bit of bright news is for Microsoft, not Yahoo. Bing’s market share is now up over 10%, picking up some of Yahoo’s losses. Yahoo’s swan dive into the darkness continued with a 10th consecutive month of losing market share.

It’s hard not to get a nervous feeling around Yahoo. Granted, I run with a dubious crowd — but I see about as much enthusiasm in this world for Yahoo as I do for Zune. It’s not likely that a new marketing campaign will turn things around (especially the one they’re running). These days, when we think of search and innovation, we simply think of Google. In the absence of any world-changing ideas, Yahoo feels like yesterday’s news.

It’s a bit early to file Yahoo away with WordPerfect, Earthlink, Compaq and those other technology stars that once burnt brightly. But, if you’re the type who gets emotional over such things… you might want to get a head start dealing with the trauma.

strategy — 19 Comments
17
Nov 09

Running out of things to steal

At some point Microsoft had to come to grips with reality: there’s just nothing left to copy from the retail tech leader. Time to get creative. Think outside the Apple Store. Looks like they got this one a few doors down, at Johnny Rockets.

advertising / strategy — 10 Comments
9
Nov 09

Astroturfing with Microsoft

astroturfAnyone familiar with the term astroturfing? It’s what happens when a company or organization tries to create a grassroots movement — using fake grass. That is, they scheme to give their cause the appearance of a popular movement, when they’re actually out for themselves. Sound like anyone we know? We’ve been analyzing Microsoft’s efforts one by one, but when you zoom up for the aerial view, the pattern is pretty darn clear. Microsoft is on an astroturfing tear:

Look at the Laptop Hunters campaign — featuring real people searching for the perfect laptop. Oh. They’re actors.

Look at the Windows 7 launch parties — using you to enlist your friends and relatives into the revolution.

Look at the Microsoft Stores hype — promoting concert ticket giveaways to help build that frenzied crowd on opening day.

Look at the new Windows 7 campaign — portraying the new OS as a product “built by the people.”

One little problem: you can’t start a grassroots movement for a company that owns 95% of the market.

Microsoft knows that people don’t like them, so their solution is to, uh … show people liking them. There’s logic to this, but only to the terminally unimaginative.

In stark contrast to Microsoft’s astroturfing, Apple uses real customers in their ads only rarely — yet they’ve created super-passionate advocates. They don’t use other happy customers as a lure, they simply present their products in a variety of interesting ways. They strike a chord with current and new customers alike.

Great advertisers have always understood that authenticity is what connects with customers. When Nike celebrates the spirit of the athlete, it’s authentic. When Mini-Cooper talks about the fun of driving, it’s authentic. When Microsoft shows off a rising tide of happy enthusiasts — we can’t help but smell the fresh plastic.

[A big thanks to my writer friend Andrew Tonkin in LA for inspiring this topic. Check him out.]

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